EVERY LAST WORD BY TAMARA IRELAND STONE

Samantha hides behind a mask.........

 

"What if I’m Crazy?"

In this book, Tamara Ireland Stone demonstrates the ongoing struggle of a teen with OCD (Obsession Compulsive Disorder). Samantha, or Sam, in which the point of view the book is taken from, feels like the outcast of her group of friends in which she has known her whole life. She easily hides behind a mirage of what her friends think she should be like. Until one day, she is lead to a secret group under the theatre’s stage where she is told it will change her life.

As Samantha is drawn further into this group, she begins to find courage to speak in a voice she never knew she had. Slowly, she finds herself more relaxed, gaining better confidence in herself, and discovering a whole new group of people that soon become her closes friends. Though there are some things in life you can never fully escape……….

To be honest, this book took me a long time before I had enough courage to pick it up and read it. The fact that the book revolved around a girl with OCD played one of the key elements to why I refused to read it.

This is why……

I was diagnosed with OCD when I was very young, and has anxiety and occasionally has panic attacks . My OCD follows along the lines of Sam’s, which made me hesitant to read at first because, when an author writes about any mental illness, it either boarders the lines of being over exaggerated, or not enough detail to fully understand what the character is going through. Though I have to admit, the book was pretty accurate.

Now I have been seeing some criticism from people saying that the author “sugar coated a mental illness.” But the way I see it, someone who has never had OCD, or any mental illness, would never be able to write about it to the full extent. That’s like trying to write a book about the thrills of skydiving but never actually been skydiving. You can come close, but the full emotions would never be there. So in my opinion, I think the author did a really good job with writing about someone with OCD. Yes, you don’t have all the emotion and terror that may come with this illness, but really the only people who can go in that great detail are the ones who have experienced it. Besides, the book is only 355 pages long, how in-depth can the author get?

Another thing I would like to highlight is, yes the book is about a girl with OCD, but it more than that. It’s about her becoming more comfortable and confidant with herself. It shows that, here is a barrier, but here is how she is going to overcome it. It’s more about finding herself than anything. If you want an in-depth description of OCD and a deeper/more serious version of the illness, that you feel does not “sugar coat” anything, go read a psychology book.

Anyways, let’s get back on track. I was able to relate to Sam a lot throughout this book. Especially with her obsession with the number three. Three seems to be a big number with me also. For example, having to click a pen three times. Another aspect I can relate to is having obsessional thoughts that only go away with some sort of action, like Sam’s.

In order to get a better understanding of these thoughts, I will tell you this, for some reason, one’s brain with OCD likes to use ones morals and fears against them. For example, Sam has a thought that her friends will turn toxic. My guess is that Sam probably has a fear of something happening to her friends. Though I believe everyone’s OCD is different.

Though I will say throughout the years, I have been able to get my OCD under control. I still get the thoughts and compulsions, but I have learned how to manage them to a lesser degree. It wasn’t easy, and it had taken many years, and someday I struggle with it more than others, but it’s a battle that I plan to win. I don’t like calling it a mental illness, even though that’s how science describes it as, I like to call it a battle. Everyone struggles with something in life, and this just happens to be what my battle is. I fight it every day, but every day I come out a little bit stronger, and every little step, no matter how small, counts towards a big victory.

Over all I would give this book a 4.5/5 stars. If you have an interest in learning the basics about OCD then I highly recommend this book to you. If you want to read it for fun because it looks interesting, go for it. I think no matter what, readers will take away something from this book. It shows that even in our toughest struggles, if we open ourselves up to new possibilities, we may be walking right into the one thing that will save us.

 

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